


Conversations You Never Heard

by ImpalaDreams (impaladreams)



Series: Trinity Verse [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Episode: s09e09 Holy Terror, Multi, Sibling Incest, Spoilers, Weecest, Wincest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-26
Updated: 2014-03-26
Packaged: 2018-01-17 01:58:14
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,843
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1369705
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/impaladreams/pseuds/ImpalaDreams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A summary of the previously established relationship between Sam and Dean in <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/1305916/chapters/2821357">Midnight Snack</a> from youth to present. Told through conversations you were never privy to.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Conversations You Never Heard

"Damnit, Dean. The kid is nine years old. He can sleep in his own bed."

That's the end of the discussion.

Neither of them sleep that night though. Dean presses his pillow tighter around his head to block out Sam's choked sobs, all hyperventilating and sniffling. He still doesn't sleep though, knowing his little brother is in the bed next to him, just a few feet away, and crying. Crying over him and not being allowed to sleep next to him. Dean knows he just wants someone to hold him, comfort him, make him feel not alone. Dean misses him and the familiar comfort he feels when Sam is close to him too. But he's more afraid of John and the way he set his jaw and glared at them both. So Dean rolls over and pretends like he can't hear Sam.

~~~~~~~~~~

A week later, John's gone on a hunt and Dean is left in charge. He's reading comics while Sam watches tv and doesn't even realize Sam's in the room until he's standing at the foot of Dean's bed.

"Dean, can I?" he pouts.

"Dad said no, Sam," Dean says but Sam is already crawling in and kicking his legs under the covers.

"I won't tell," Sam says and it comes out whispered and needy and Dean can't say no. He just sighs and puts his arm around Sam and lets him cuddle up to him while they read.

~~~~~~~~~~

Sam is fifteen and still sleeping with Dean whenever John is away. Dean knows it's weird, knows he should have put an end to it a long time ago. Sometimes though he thinks he needs to feel Sam next to him as badly as Sam needs to be there. But this morning it's all a little too much for Dean. It wasn't like they hadn't ever woken up in each others' arms before. And it's not like they'd never had morning wood before. But this morning there's a combination of both and it's messing with his head. Dean is flat on his back and pinned with Sam half on top of him, leg resting between his. It wouldn't be all that bad if both of them didn't have raging erections. Dean lies there frozen, too embarrassed to move while Sam sleeps and tries to will away his arousal. Tries not to think about his little brother's hard on pressing into his hip. Tries not to think about how much it doesn't bother him, maybe even feels nice with Sam's leg pressed against his groin. Then Sam starts to stir and presses himself harder into Dean, rubbing himself against Dean's hip until he's conscious and abruptly stops.

Sam lifts his head from his chest slightly. "Sorry, I was dreaming," he says softly, moving his leg off of Dean's erection but sliding it against him while he does so.

"S'ok. Happens," Dean tries to say but his throat has gone dry. Sam rolls over onto his back then and Dean sees him fist a hand into his boxers, pulling out his erection. He averts his eyes as Sam begins to stroke. "What are you doing, Sammy?"

"I'm jerking off, idiot," Sam responds. "Bet I can get off before you can."

Dean doesn't know why he does it. Maybe it's because he's competitive and he can't let Sam beat him at anything, not even masturbation. But he pushes down his own boxers and begins to stroke, focusing on his own actions and watching his heavy dick already leaking precome onto his stomach. When he glances over he tells himself it's just to see how close Sam is and make sure he's beating him. But he doesn't expect to find Sam looking at him, or rather, his dick. Sam's eyes are fixed, watching Dean's hand move and stroking his own cock in time. Dean looks down and can't help but feel himself harden even more at the sight of Sam's fist wrapped around his cock, jerking himself closer to completion. He turns his head again to watch his face and Sam meets his gaze, looking him square in the eye and letting out a completely pornographic moan as he starts to come. Dean orgasms then too, silently releasing across his own chest and paying attention as Sam's eyes flick down to watch, licking his lips at the sight.

Dean gets up first, quickly heading to the bathroom, ignoring Sam's pleas of, "Dean, wait!" behind him.

They never talk about it again.

~~~~~~~~~~

A few months later, Dean and Sam stay up late. Dean's been drinking and he lets Sam try some straight from the bottle he bought with his fake ID. The motel is cheap but it isn't the worst place they've stayed while John is on a hunt. The tv has a channel airing a mix of static and porn and Sam convinces Dean to leave it on. They're sitting next to each other on the couch with their feet propped up on a worn out coffee table. The woman on the tv is on her knees with two guys standing above her. She's eagerly servicing them both, deep throating one as she jerks off the other. Sam's erection becomes obvious pretty quickly.

Dean laughs softly. "Do you like her, Sammy?" he asks as they watch the woman on her knees. She slides her mouth off one of the dicks with a wet popping noise, grabbing it and jerking it as the other guy shoves his dick down her throat to replace it.

"Yeah, I guess," he answers, preoccupied with feeling himself through his jeans. "Do you?" He looks up at Dean and then at Dean's growing arousal.

"She's alright," Dean shrugs. "She's wearing too much makeup." He sees Sam nod in agreement and bites back an amused smile.

Then Sam's hands are at his fly and alarm bells go off in Dean's mind. "Sam, stop, we can't..."

Sam's already pulling his hard on out of his boxers though. He's longer and maybe a little thicker since his recent growth spurt. His eyes are still fixed to the screen while he wraps a hand around himself and starts pumping. Dean adverts his eyes, watches the way the girl on screen deep throats one of the guys, choking on his dick.

"That's not really what blowjobs are like," Dean says, more conversationally than he should maybe with Sam jerking off just inches away from him. But he knows the kid's never had his dick sucked before, probably his first time ever watching porn now that he thinks about it, and he doesn't want Sam to get the wrong idea. Sam makes a "hmmm-ing" noise and Dean's not sure if it's in satisfaction or curiosity so he keeps talking. "It's slower. Wetter." Sam definitely moans then and slumps down a little on the couch. "You just lie down and she works her mouth over you, sliding her tongue all over your head, lips running up and down your shaft."

Sam's breathing fast and his bangs are starting to get a little damp with sweat. He rolls his head over and with the way he's slumped over, it falls on Dean's shoulder.

"And when she takes you down her throat," Dean smiles when Sam's breath hitches, "it's slow. Not hard and fast like that. She inches the warm, wet vacuum of her mouth down your shaft, and it makes your toes curl." Sam moans loudly then and he throws his head back a little. Dean moves the arm his brother is resting on, sliding it around his shoulder and letting Sam rest against his chest. Sam works his hand faster, twisting his wrist up and down his dick. "When she bobs her head up and down like that, it's slower too. Her tongue works the underside of your dick while she pulls her lips up so slow. And when she slides her mouth back down, you can feel the head of your cock pressing against her throat."

Sam's twitching beside him, panting and rolling his head into Dean's chest as he pumps his cock quickly. He grips Dean's thigh, tightly at first, almost reflexively, as a shockwave of pleasure jolts through him. Dean's hyperaware that Sam's hand is just centimeters from where his own cock is resting hard against his leg through his jeans. His heart starts to pound uncontrollably but it's not out of any fear or anxiety. Rather, it's that excited-nervous feeling he gets when he's with a girl, like right before he kisses her for the first time. He pushes the thought from his mind and keeps talking, watching Sam come undone beside him. "When you finally come, it feels so good, feeling her suck it right out of you, catching it on her tongue and swallowing around you." They both glance at the screen, almost forgotten at this point. Both of the guys are coming simultaneously across the girl's face. It's getting in her eyes and dripping off her chin and she's making a mess, spitting out anything that makes it into her mouth. "Facials are hot, yeah," Dean adds. "But nothing as good as feeling her drink you down."

Then Sam's hand moves. It's almost imperceptible but Dean feels his fingers twitch. Sees and feels the slide of a pinky over his shaft, and it takes all of his self control not to press himself into the touch. "Sam..." he says warningly.

But Sam is giving his own warning, sliding his shirt up his chest, hips meeting his hand on each pump and Dean holds his arm tighter around his brother as he goes rigid. "Dean!" he gasps as his orgasm hits and he shoots his load of milky white come across his chest.

Sam looks totally spent. He's sweating and panting and sprawled out beside Dean when he looks up at his brother.

"Can I try?" he asks.

"Try what?" Dean responds somewhat confused.

"Try giving you a blowjob. A good one. Not a porno one."

Dean stays quiet for a moment because there's a lot in that sentence and he's not sure how to answer it. Not sure how he feels. Because after that show, the idea of having Sam's mouth on him, is a bit of an overload.

"Are you gay?" he asks. That was a lot easier to deal with than the fact that his little, jailbait brother was trying to suck his dick.

"No. I like girls," Sam mutters, looking down, distractedly running a finger through some of the come on his belly. "And you." His eyes flick back to Dean's to gauge his brother's reaction.

Dean's heart starts the pounding thing again and it's practically keeping time with the throbbing in his cock. "Sammy, that's not normal."

"We're not normal, Dean."

He's looking up at him with a mix of lust and need and sweat and those fucking puppy dog eyes Dean can't say no to, could never deny anything. So he leans down and kisses him. He tightens his arm around him and presses their lips together, feeling Sam sigh and melt against his mouth. It's an unhurried meeting of lips, each capturing the other's mouth with his own. Sam's lips are soft and needy against his, pulling Dean in to him. Dean's mouth lingers until he feels Sam grab him, wrapping a hand right around his dick through his jeans and Dean has to pull away.

"I can't, Sam. You're just a kid." He sighs and untangles his arm from Sam's shoulder and leans forward to grab the remote and some napkins leftover from their fast food meal. "Clean up. Let's watch some MTV."

~~~~~~~~~~~

They jerk off a lot together. Dean wraps an arm tightly around Sam and they press their foreheads together, sweating, stealing occasional kisses from each other as their hands work their own cocks. Dean sucks Sam's tongue greedily, like he wishes he could suck his cock. Because the most beautiful thing in the world is Sam when he comes and Dean desperately wishes he could be the one to make him feel like that. He aches to touch him, make him feel good, be the one to give him his release.

He's taken off guard one day when Sam rolls over onto him, pressing their naked bodies together. "Sam, we can't..." but then he feels Sam's cock against his own. Sam starts to work his hips, rutting against him and making them both moan needily at the feel of their shafts rubbing together. Sam brings a hand between them, grabbing them both and jerking them off as he keeps working his hips against his brother. It's not long before he has Dean coming undone, gripping his back and moaning out his name as the both explode hot across his stomach, their come mixing together on his abdomen.

"I wanna fuck you, Dean," Sam whispers to him as he collapses against him, getting himself sticky in the process.

"I can't. I can't take your virginity, Sammy." He winds his fingers in Sam's hair and holds him though, and for right now it's enough for both of them.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean's been waiting a half an hour for Sam to leave the party. He knows their dad wouldn't be okay with letting Sam go, but he's out hunting and not there to argue. If he got to sneak out as a teen, he doesn't see why his 16 year old brother shouldn't get the chance to as well.

Finally, Sam comes out of the house and Dean turns the key in the ignition, catching Sam's eyes from across the road. A girl follows Sam out of the house though and Dean watches amused as Sam stops on the front steps to talk to her. She's coming on strong. Dean can tell from her body language and he laughs a bit when Sam shifts uncomfortably. When she stands on tippy toes and presses a kiss to his lips, Sam politely kisses back, holding her cheek in his hand when she deepens the kiss.

When they pull apart, he sees Sam's eyes glance quickly his way before focusing on the girl again. They exchange a few more words before she heads back inside and Sam crosses the street to him.

"Who was that, Sammy? She was smoking!" he praises when his brother gets in the car.

"Susie Eiser. She's in my biology class."

"You tap that yet?" he asks, glancing sideways at his brother as he pulls away from the curb. Sam just shakes his head though. "Listen, she's clearly into it. You should, ya know, get on that, Sammy."

Sam just rolls his eyes though and Dean drives home in silence.

~~~~~~~~~~~

They're only in town another two weeks but sometime during that span, Sam gets to third base with Susie. He lets Dean know as much when they're nestled under the covers, lying on their sides, jerking each other off. "I thought about your mouth the whole time though," he says, making Dean groan. "God, I want you so bad."

Dean can't help it then. He rolls Sam over and slides down his body until he's level with his cock. He's never sucked a dick before but it can't be that difficult, so he just closes his eyes and does what he knows he likes. He jerks himself off while he does it. Because he knows if he's still hard when Sam comes, he won't be able to stop his brother from reciprocating. Not just because Sam is so eager, but because that's all Dean desperately wants at this point.

He sucks Sam down though, doesn't even hold his hips when he starts to buck wildly and moans Dean's name in a litany of praise. He climaxes in his own hand when the first shot of Sam's come hits his tongue and he tastes the salty, musky flavor of his brother.

~~~~~~~~~~~

When Sam turns seventeen he stops asking Dean if they can fuck and starts asking when. He's held out, for two years now, and Dean has to admire his willpower. Sam's evolved from an awkward, lanky youth and is crashing through the gate of manhood at an alarming pace. He could pretty much have his pick of girls. But he holds out for Dean.

Dean keeps turning him down though.

"Is it because I'm your brother?" he asks one day, quietly in whispered tones because they're at the library researching dad's latest case. Also, because the old lady a table over reading vintage Good Housekeeping magazines, probably doesn't want to hear all about their incestuous affair.

"No," Dean answers honestly. They're kind of over that now. Sam summed it up best when he said they weren't normal. Besides, it wasn't like they were going to procreate and make genetically fucked up kids. Sam just raises his eyebrows and makes a face waiting for Dean to expand upon his reasoning. "Your first time should be with someone special. Someone you trust."

Sam smiles softly then and gives Dean that look like no one else exists but them. "Dean, I don't trust anyone as much as I trust you. I trust you more than anyone else in the world." He gives his brother a lopsided smile. "Are you nervous? Because I looked it up. I know what do so I don't hurt you."

Dean's taken aback then, pulling a face. "Where did you..." but he trails off, not needing to know where exactly Sam dug up that information. "I'm not worried about me, Sam. You should just," he pauses looking at Sam's wide, waiting eyes, "you should lose it to someone you love."

Sam grabs his hand, almost immediately as it leaves his mouth and Dean isn't ready. He knows the words are coming but he's afraid to hear them. Frightened of how he'll feel, how he'll need, once it's out there. "Dean, I do love you. And I have loved you for a very long time." His eyes are soft and endless and searching Dean's for recognition. "I know it's kind of a first for you to though so if you're not comfortable..."

He starts to tug his hand away and Dean holds him firmly, pulling him back and making him look at him again. "No...no, Sammy. I love you too."

~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean can't believe it the first time Sam pushes into him. Not that he can't believe that it's his brother, or that he's taking his virginity, or that he's letting another guy fuck his ass. But that it feels so good.

He knows that Sam is the virgin here but he spent so much time getting Dean ready, making sure Dean was okay, that it starts to feel like a shared experience. And he supposes it is a give and take of firsts for them both.

Sam pauses after he's inside, bottomed out in Dean's tight heat, and gives his brother a chance to adjust. "Are you okay? Is this alright? Oh my God, you feel so good. So, so, good, Dean."

"Yes, yeah, it's good," Dean breathes. "Please...please, Sammy..."

"I've waited so long for this," Sam says as he begins to move, taking Dean's cock in his hand to stroke in time with his thrusts.

It doesn't last long but neither of them care. It's just a first. A first of many.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean's a wreck when Sam leaves for Stanford. He hides it well though. They've had this conversation, or some circular variety of it, so many times, ever since Sam started looking at schools, that Dean could have it in his sleep.

"I just want you to know that it's okay if you date. And, ya know, not just hookups. You have a shot at something normal. Take it."

"Dean, I don't want anyone else," Sam argues. Dean wants to beg him to stay then. He wants to get down on his hands and knees and beg and plead and ask Sam what he's supposed to do to keep him. But he doesn't. Because he knows Sam does deserve this and he only wants to see Sam happy. Even if it's at his own expense.

"Well, don't sell yourself short on my account." He looks at Sam's pouty face and laughs as he puts him in a headlock, kissing the top of his moppy, brown head. "I'll still be here for you, kid. Don't worry."

~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean stops talking to Sam after he starts dating Jessica. It's not out of anger or jealousy or any animosity. It's because Sam's happy and he can't take that away from him. Can't tell him how much he misses him or loves him still or wishes they were closer. Because he knows his brother and he knows that he'll come running and Sam deserves more. Sam deserves the world.

When it all goes to shit, it hurts Dean as much as it does Sam. It hurts because he hates seeing Sam in pieces and would do anything to put him back together again.

It takes a while but they find their way back together. And from then on out, they always do. No matter what happens to them, they always find their way back together.

Except for now. Dean messed up. He knows he did. He doesn't need Sam to tell him. Again.

Just when he thought they were starting to be in the right, hunting together, spending a little bit of time together, it all caves in again when Dean goes for a kiss.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Dean?"

"I dunno, I just...I thought..."

"Think again."

He spares him the speech this time, thank God, because Dean can't listen to him say they're not brothers, that he doesn't love him, that he doesn't trust him anymore, not now, not ever. He just watches Sam's back retreat and wishes he knew what to do to make things right again.

~~~~~~~~~~~

"I just got a call from Y/N," Sam says shortly walking into the kitchen where Dean's sitting, drinking a beer and reading.

"Oh yeah? How's she?" he responds, not looking up.

"Wondering if we have a safe house she could use in the Kentucky area," Sam says. He sits down at the table across from Dean. "Apparently she really got into it in Chicago. She's been camping to lay low but it sounds like she's about over that," Sam says, waiting for his brother's response.

"What'd she do?" Dean asks, putting his book down and raising an eyebrow at Sam.

"There was this group of demons terrorizing her home town. Or well, as homey as it ever got for her. One of them bound an antichrist to him."

"She kill them?" he asks.

"Not the demons. But the antichrist...yeah."

"What? But...how..." Dean's flabbergasted. "She went Gregory Peck on him?"

Sam shrugs. "I didn't really get the details. She was on a pay phone. Wanted to keep it quick."

"She should stay here," Dean says definitively.

Sam gives an amused smile. "She'll be here in about 12 hours."

"Good. Okay," he says, nodding. "She can have-"

But he doesn't finish the sentence. Because it isn't Kevin's room anymore. It's just a constant reminder, a big, empty room advertising his fuck up. When he looks at it, it's just his own lies and betrayal mirrored back at him. And he knows Sam feels the same. Knows he's thinking about it now as he stiffens and looks away, turning to get up.

"Sure," Sam says, heading for the door.

~~~~~~~~~~

Dean licks his lips and watches you disappear down the hall with the last of the bags they helped you carry in.

"Really? She's been here ten minutes, man," Sam says, shaking his head.

"Sorry Sammy, but you can't deny that Y/N showing up all tired and dirty strapped down with guns and knives isn't hot," Dean replies. He gives Sam a once over and smirks a bit, remembering what Sam looks like after a hunt.

Sam rolls his eyes. "You're both flirts. You deserve each other," he says before turning away.

Dean catches the way Sam's mouth tugs back into a reluctant half smile as he leaves though and it makes his heart pound uncomfortably in his chest for a moment.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean's at Sam's door as soon as he hears you close the bathroom door and turn the shower on.

"How was 'sparring?'" Sam asks, making air quotes and still watching tv. "Aren't you supposed to end up in the shower with her?"

"Yeah. I mean, no. I mean..." Dean sighs and frowns and Sam meets his eyes.

"You like her, don't you?" asks Sam.

Dean nods. "She likes me. And you too." He looks awkwardly down at the floor avoiding his brother's gaze. "I mean, it's been pretty obvious. She flirts with us both..."

Sam looks at him confused and folds his arms across his chest. "Are you asking my permission?" The question was cool and incredulous and cut at Dean. He didn't respond. "For her sake or for mine?" Dean shrugged. "You know I don't care what you do."

And yeah, Dean knew but maybe he wanted Sam to care. Just a little. "I know, but I think she does. I mean, I don't think she's gonna pick." Sam looks back at him, a bit of intrigue mixed with his stoic look. "So you know, if you wanted to...I wouldn't...I mean, she might be good for you too."

"Are you Susie Eiser-ing me?" Sam asks.

Dean wants to say no. That it's the exact opposite of trying to push Sam away and onto a woman. Because maybe if they're both with you then they still have something in common, some bond still holding them together. "Whatever, man, listen, I'm just trying to help you get laid," he says, brushing off Sam's comment. "If you're into it, so is she."

He leaves before Sam can respond.

~~~~~~~~~

Two days later, you're at the laundromat in town. Sam sleeps in and Dean's on the way out of the kitchen as Sam's entering.

"Oh hey," Sam starts, making Dean turn back around and linger by the door. He stares at the back of his brother's head poking around in the fridge. "I told her it was okay if she wanted to, ya know, hook up with you too."

"Sammy, did you?" Dean's voice does little to hide his elation and Sam tries not to look like the cat that ate the canary when he turns back around. "You dog!"

"Whatever," he mumbles.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Two weeks later Sam and Dean are in the library. Dean sits next to Sam under the pretense of looking at the same reference book but he isn't getting much work done. "Can we talk about Y/N?" he asks, placing a hand on the table next to Sam's.

"Ummm, sure. What about her?" Sam responds, looking up from the notebook he's writing in. He adds, "She's great," after in case there was any confusion.

Dean nods in agreement with his brother. "Yeah, she's awesome. I like hanging out with her. I'm glad you both are close too." He glances down at the table where their hands are almost touching. "Makes me feel close to you again," he says, sneaking a pinky over to graze the back of Sam's hand.

"Dean..."

"I'm sorry," he says, pulling away. "I just miss my brother." He pushes himself away from the table. "Thought maybe he might miss me too," he mutters as he leaves the room.

~~~~~~~~~~~

Dean's drunk. It isn't his usual flask of whiskey and six pack of lager drunk either. He's slurred words and bloodshot eyes and tripping over his own feet drunk. "Sammy!" he calls, slipping down the bottom few stairs. He remains seated at the bottom, resting his head against the cool wrought iron banister. He starts to nod off until he hears footsteps. He looks up and smiles, seeing two of his brother in the room that's beginning to spin very quickly. "Hi, Sammys."

But then he makes that face and Sam sees his stomach lurch. He grabs a small, lined wastebasket from the side of the room and is next to Dean in an instant.

Dean pukes his guts up into the trash on his hands and knees. When he's done, he collapses, shivering slightly when his sweaty forehead meets the cold marble floor. "You look like shit, Dean," Sam says from his standing position where he's been watching Dean purge.

"Not as shitty as I feel," Dean mumbles in response, closing his eyes to avoid Sam's judgmental gaze.

"Yeah, well, it's your own fault." Sam sighs and tries to help his brother up but Dean pushes him away, shakily standing on his own.

"Fuck off," he says, swaying, before Sam watches him take a header down the few steps to the hallway leading to their bedrooms.

Sam's next to him, holding him up, when he sees the tears. "No, Dean, I didn't mean..."

"No, you're right," Dean slurs, letting Sam guide him to his own room and deposit him on his bed. "Every day I feel worse and it's my fault. I know it is. I know I did wrong. But I just love you too much, Sam." Sam watches as he pathetically tries to kick off his boots, sighing and helping him when Dean can't manage. "I'm sorry, Sammy. I don't know how many ways to say it to make you know it's true. Just tell me what to do, Sam. Tell me how to fix it. I'd give anything, do anything, for you to trust me again, Sammy. I just...I can't...I miss you and..."

Dean's still crying and slurring and trying to talk but it's coming out all muddled and incoherent. He thinks about all those times as kids, how many nights he held Sam, how they were there for each other in the darkness and how he'll never feel that again. And he cries until he's a shaking mess and Sam finally kneels by the side of his bed, taking his head in his hands. "Dean, Dean, listen to me," Sam says, somewhat sternly because he can't deal with one of Dean's meltdowns at the moment. "You're gonna be okay, Dean. It'll be better in the morning. Okay? Just, shhhh." Sam tries, he really does, but he's not as good at playing the comforter, the reassurer. That's Dean's job. But Dean quiets a bit and is reduced to silent sniffles, whether because he actually feels better or because he's just trying to appease him, Sam's not sure.

He gets up though and walks to the door, leaving a sniffling Dean in bed, shoving head head under the pillow. "Do you still love me?" he asks meekly and Sam can barely hear him through the alcohol and the pillow. He sighs again at the doorway and Dean cries harder when he sees the lights go off and hears the door click shut. But then he feels the bed dip down and Sam scoot up behind him and he comes out from hiding, lying his head on the pillow but still crying.

"I'm not having sex with you, Dean," Sam says soberly. "And don't even try to kiss me with your nasty whiskey vomit breath."

"Ok," his brother agrees, because the feel of Sam's arm around him is already far more than he could have asked for.

~~~~~~~~~~~

A few days later, Sam catches Dean coming out of the shower with just a towel around his waist. His eyes drift. He can't help it. Never has been able to, really.

"Like what you see, baby bro?" Dean teases as they pass in the hall.

"Maybe..."

~~~~~~~~~~~

The morning after you all fool around in the library, they don't have time to discuss anything. "She's going to be pissed," Sam says as they load up the car. 

"I'd rather her pissed than dead," Dean answers, his voice low and gruff.  


~~~~~~~~~~~~

They're sitting at the bar waiting for their meal when you call. "Can I get it?" Dean asks.

"She's calling me because she doesn't want to talk to you," Sam says but doesn't answer the phone and just looks to Dean.

Dean picks up the phone, listening to your info and jotting down Natasha's number so they can run a trace. "You're a lifesaver. And listen, I'm sorry about the -- Y/N?" He pulls the phone away and frowns at Sam. "She hung up on me." Sam scoffs and looks at his brother amused. "What?"

"Nothing. I just..." he shrugs and the corner of his mouth pulls back in a flirtatious smile. "You're kind of cute when you're trying to get into someone's good graces."

Dean licks and purses his lips. "Good thing I seem to be doin' a lot of that these days." Sam looks at him again and Dean can feel his heart in his throat. "Sam, can we?"

Sam sighs. "Things aren't going to be magically better." Dean's heard that one before though and rolls his eyes grabbing his beer and glancing around the room as a distraction. "No, listen to me," Sam pleads and Dean turns his face back because this is a new part of the speech he hasn't heard before. "I am willing to work on this with you."

He wants to hug Sam but they're in public and he's trying to act more stoic ever since his blackout breakdown. "How?"

Sam shrugs a little and shakes his head. "I dunno. It'll take time. But I don't think we should sleep together now. I think we should wait. That it should be with..."

"Y/N?"

"Well, if we're starting this all up again, maybe we should start it with her. She did sorta," he looks a little embarrassed and Dean knows he's about to admit something big, "bring us back together."  
Dean nods. He's okay with that, likes the idea even. He tries to swallow the smile when he hears Sam say they're back together.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sam holds out on him for the whole trip. They share a bed and maybe there's some frantic kissing and maybe handjob races don't really count. But Sam stays firm on the sex thing.

When they pull up outside of the bunker, they wait before taking Natasha out of the trunk. "She's still pissed at me, man," Dean says, frowning towards the door. "What if she's over me? God, I want you," he says grabbing the back of Sam's head and crashing their lips together.

Sam pulls back and puts the breaks on Dean's advances. "Don't worry about her," Sam says confidently. "I will deal." He bends down to kiss Dean quickly. "You put the demon in the dungeon, don't provoke Y/N, and uh, shower well because I'm going to fuck you good tonight."

Sam gets out of the car before Dean can respond but he sees him smiling as they unload their duffel bags and demon from the car. And he smiles back. Because he's next to Dean again. Just where he should be.

**Author's Note:**

> I'll also be writing "Conversations You Heard" to fill in the rest of the established relationships between Sam/reader and Dean/reader. So...stay tuned for that.


End file.
